How to Do Therapy

Welcome to the show. Today we’re talking therapy! Specifically how to be a smart consumer when it comes to finding a therapist who is a good fit and understanding a few tips on how to do therapy. You’ve recognized a need to get some help and are ready to take the first step. Now what? Here are ten strategies to get the most out of the therapy hour.

  1. Be Choosy. It’s ok to screen potential therapists. Credentials are important because they give you a clue about what approach the therapist was trained in. Ultimately though,  the most important consideration is how you feel with the therapist. Do they seem interested and capable? Do you sense that they enjoy their work? Do you trust them to guide you toward your goals?
  2. Once you decide on a therapist give it 3 sessions before you decide whether to commit to the process. Therapists are only human and the process does take a little time. It’s not unusual to feel uncomfortable, or uncertain whether therapy is helping. Commit to at least 3 sessions to give yourself the chance to understand how the process works and decide if a particular therapist is a good fit to help you.
  3. Take care of payment and ask about scheduling or billing questions at the top of the hour. Getting the logistics out the way gives you plenty of space to use your time efficiently.
  4. Bring a notebook. Jot down takeaways during the session as well as reflections/observations during your week. Important insights might seem obvious when they’re occurring but might be lost if they’re not written down.
  5. Set the intention of making therapy a top priority and make a commitment to yourself to stick with it. Keep working outside the therapy time. Dedicate time and space to practice the skills you’re learning and complete assignments you’re given.
  6. View therapy as a co-created alliance. You will set the agenda and your therapist will offer guidance support and strategies to help you reach your goals. If you’re not sure what goals don’t be afraid to speak up. A competent therapist will speak up and guide the process but if that doesn’t happen let your voice be heard.
  7. Be honest. Say what’s on your mind during therapy. This might be the only interaction you have all week that allows you to fully speak your mind without fear of being judged. Good therapy means working toward authenticity and understanding that the process is messy at times.
  8. Know that you will bring your habits into therapy. Issues going on in your life will often show up during the therapy hour. A skilled therapist will kindly but firmly shine the light on this and help you develop new ways of operating.
  9. Be aware who you share your story with. If you’re confiding in friends or family about your therapy experience, protect yourself from unsolicited opinions and advice. Helpful support attempts can sometimes sabotage your therapy. There’s nothing wrong with reaching out for support as long as it’s from those who will genuinely offer it.
  10. Keep your sense of humor. Laughter and light-heartedness are the hallmarks of resilience. Yes, the issues you are struggling with are serious but activating the power of the human spirit can offer a soothing balm during painful times.

 Resources for Finding a Therapist:

http://www.psychologytoday.com

http://www.goodtherapy.org 

 

Restoring Peace and Harmony

Hello and welcome to episode #17 of the JOY Factor Podcast. It’s good to be here with you today and I think you’re going to enjoy this episode. I recently enjoyed a reiki session with Judy and her energy truly is special. Enjoy the show!

Judy Buchanan is an entrepreneur, Certified Medical Reiki Master, public speaker, retired U.S. Army solider, wife and mother of two. Her passion is to empower women to safely release trauma, anxiety, grief and pain so they can feel better and thrive. Judy provides Reiki treatments, Reiki classes, supports holistic workshops and retreats as well as provides lectures to educate her community.

Judy Buchanan has attained the level of Karuna Reiki Master through the International Center for Reiki Training (IRCT) and the Okuden level of Jikiden Reiki®. Certification in Medical Reiki through Raven Keyes Medical Reiki International. Certification in Sacred Childbirth with Reiki through Rev. Cori Nielsen. She has a Bachelor’s degree in Social Work (BSW), and a Master’s in Business Administration (MBA). Judy spent 20+ years in the U.S. Army as Medical Service Corps Officer. Her military journey came with much adventure, friendship, and accomplishment as well as many struggles and obstacles. Judy can relate to the stressors working parents, service members, and dual military couples experience while raising a family. Like many other service members, she has been on both sides of deployment: the soldier who deployed and the family member at home taking care of the children while their spouse is away.

For many years, Judy experienced many significant health challenges and pain due to her response to high levels of stress. Her desire to heal was the catalyst to explore many complementary medicine techniques. She made great improvements from several different types of holistic therapies but Reiki was different. After having her first Reiki treatment, she knew immediately she needed to learn Reiki and share this amazing therapy with others. When we restore peace and harmony to our body, mind, spirit, or to a situation, we open the pathway so healing can occur. She has been a student of holistic therapies for more than a decade and believes education is a fundamental means to empowering others.

Judy educates our community by providing lectures on Reiki and its benefits as well as encouraging others to explore many complementary therapies to heal. She supports the Frederick County Library System Adult Education Program, Maryland State Wellness at Work Program/ Frederick Chamber of Commerce 5 Pillar of Health Lecture Series, Frederick Community Hospital Employee Health and Wellness Program, Fort Detrick United States Army Medical Materiel Development Agency’s Stress-Free Zone, and Frederick Community College Employee Wellness Fair.

Judy’s passion is realized through the development of her practice where she provides Reiki treatments and training classes to clients, and through community contribution by providing Reiki treatments to cancer patients and staff at the Frederick Memorial Hospital Cancer Center.  She also volunteers with Veterans Team Recovery Immersion Process (VETRIIP) a non-profit organization located in Texas and Operation Second Chance located in Maryland providing women veterans with Reiki treatments and stress reduction techniques to provide comfort, as well as pain and stress relief.  

Contact Information: http://www.judy-buchanan.com facebook: @judybuchananenergy

 

Judy’s Joy Tips!

How to define my joy factor?  Gratitude is the key to happiness

Quotes:

Don’t worry Be Happy – Bobby McFerrin

Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. – Rumi

Online Resources to create Joy:

http://karisamuels.com Kari Samuels Intuitive Counselor and Happiness Coach

James Corden’s Karpool Karaoke – Cracks me up  

Music – i.e. my JOY JAM:

Feeling Good – Michael Buble

Brave – Sara Bareillis

Unconditionally- Katy Perry

We are family – Sister Sledge

You are not alone – Marie Miller

Happy – Pharrell Williams

Good to be Alive – Any Grammer

Rise – Katy Perry

Favorite book:  The Travelers Gift – Seven Decisions that Determine Personal Success by – Andy Andrews

 

The lesson pertaining to happiness in The Travelers Gift:

Today I will choose to be happy – Anne Frank

            Our very lives are fashioned by choice. First, we make choices. Then our choices make us.

 

Be the Source of Your Own Transformation

Hello and welcome to episode #16 of the JOY Factor Podcast. It’s good to be here with you today and I think you’re going to enjoy this episode- especially if you’re a guy looking for a solid relationship or even just a good date.

My guest is Jeffrey Platts-he’s a men’s coach and authentic communication expert who is passionate about helping men create amazing relationships with women. With over 20 years of personal study and transformational training, he has led nearly 200 workshops and retreats on personal growth, dating, and communication. Jeffrey’s work and writing has been featured in the Huffington Post, Washington Post, ABC News, Authentic Man Program and the Good Men Project. He brings a rich toolbox of insights and experiences to his facilitation, integrating his adventures as DJ, amateur stand-up comedian, salsa dancer, yoga teacher and world traveler. Find out more at http://www.jeffreyplatts.com.  

More from Jeffrey:
http://www.jeffreyplatts.com
http://facebook.com/jeffreyplatts
http://instagram.com/jeffreyplatts
http://huffingtonpost.com/jeffrey-platts

“Whatever you think the world is withholding from you, you are withholding from the world.” – Eckhart Tolle

Digital Detox

Welcome to episode 15 of the JOY Factor. Today we’re talking about the benefits of taking a break from technology and setting the stage to help you take your own detox. If your internet habits leave you feeling a little edgy, frustrated or down, take heart. You don’t have to give up your phone but you can greatly benefit from reigning it in and being more intentional with your use. 

This is a call to give yourself the space to reflect on how you’re spending the time and seize the opportunity to make changes where you need to. 

Enjoy the show and let me know what you think!

Helping Services for Northeast Iowa- Domestic Violence Resource Center

Today I’m interviewing an amazing leader at Helping Services for Northeast Iowa. Kathleen Davis leads the Domestic Violence Resource Center team and is talking today about her work and breaking down myths about survivors of domestic violence. There’s still time to donate and/or register for the Sena Hanson Memorial 5k being held on October 1 in Decorah Iowa. 100 % of the proceeds will go to Helping Services of Northeast Iowa. Money raised will provide needed assistance to domestic violence survivors and their children. Here’s the link if you’d like to donate https://www.helpingservices.org/events/2nd-annual-sena-hanson-memorial-5k-walkrunbike/ If you need help our support please know that there are folks waiting to help. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at1-800-799-7233 | 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

Thanks to everyone who is listening, peace and love to all who are suffering and power to those who can take a stand to help someone. 

About Kathleen

Kathleen Davis is the Director of the Domestic Abuse Resource Center which is a program of Helping Services for Northeast Iowa based in Decorah, Iowa.  Kathleen began working at Helping Services in 1999 after graduating from Upper Iowa University where she graduated with a bachelor’s of science degree in Public Administration.   While attending college full time, she also worked in the counseling department and realized that helping people was her passion.  Kathleen and her husband reside in West Union where they have raised two amazing sons and are fortunate to have two adorable grandchildren that live close by.   Kathleen proudly serves on the leadership team at the Iowa Coalition Against Domestic Violence and as a board member for the Building Direction for Families (BDF). 

The Power of Compassion

During the month of September The JOY Factor is taking a stand against domestic violence. Support Helping Services for NE Iowa Domestic Abuse Resource Center to honor my niece Sena’s memory and raise awareness of intimate partner violence

Register for the 2nd Annual Sena Hanson Memorial Walk/Run/Bike 5k on 10/1/16 or make a donation (every dollar counts)

Thank you for your support!

Today’s guest is Dr. Jennifer Sippel. She is the Clinical Director for Cultural Transformation VA North Texas Health Care System and a Certified Compassion Teacher who received her training Stanford’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education. Jen spells out simple but effective ways to begin an informal compassion practice and outlines some of the science behind the power of compassion. 

Compassion Resources

Stanford Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education

http://ccare.stanford.edu

 

Krstin Neff

http://www.self-compassion.org

 

Brene’ Brown

http://brenebrown.com

 

Paul Gilbert-compassion focused therapy

http://compassionatemind.co.uk/about-us

 

Brian Cox

http://www.apolloschildren.com/index.php

 

Neil Degrasse Tyson

http://www.haydenplanetarium.org/tyson/

 

http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/

http://www.my.happify.com

 

Shout Outs!!

First Unitarian Church of Dallas

http://www.dallasuu.org/

Luther College

http://www.luther.edu/

 

About Dr. Sippel

Dr. Jennifer Sippel is the Clinical Director for Cultural Transformation at VA North Texas Health Care System.  She Chairs the Patient Centered Care Committee and serves on the Organizational Health Council.  She is currently in the process of creating and will chair the Complimentary and Integrative Health (CIH) Steering Committee.  Dr. Sippel created a new hiring process and is leading activation for a new five-provider primary care VA clinic in Plano, Texas, which will include five health coaches funded by Dr. Sippel’s Whole Health Partnership grant awarded by the Office of Patient Centered Care and Cultural Transformation.  The Plano VA Primary Care Clinic will serve 6,000 Veterans house many innovation projects in support of the Plano Whole Health Pathway design and implementation.  Dr. Sippel’s program evaluation and research areas of interest include complementary and integrative health (CIH), spinal cord injury home care, health care employee resilience, experiential learning models, Whole Health implementation and outcomes, VA hiring practices, and values-based organizational change.  In 2014, Dr. Sippel trained at Stanford School of Medicine, Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education (CCARE) and received her certification as a Compassion Cultivation Training (CCT) teacher.  She has developed many unique Veteran and employee training programs, including Autonomy Support Training (AST).  Dr. Sippel is a licensed clinical psychologist in the state of Texas and provides executive/leadership coaching services to VA leaders and private clients. Contact her 

bepresent1@me.com

http://www.va.gov/providerinfo/northtexas/detail.asp?providerid=2669

Quote

 “A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.” Albert Einstein

Shameless Survivor

Today’s episode may be difficult to hear and a trigger warning for some. The content is designed for a mature audience so please keep children out of listening range. Also, just a reminder that this podcast is not meant as a substitute for therapy, or counseling but it may provide information you find therapeutic or helpful.

Today’s guest is Lisette Johnson creator of the website http://www.shamelesssurvivor.com

Lisette Johnson leads a peaceful life with her two teenage children outside Richmond, Virginia. After years of emotional and psychological abuse by her husband, Lisette was making plans to exit the marriage when he shot her several times before taking his own life. She is now a tireless advocate for those navigating intimate partner abuse and works at the state and national levels to bring awareness and change laws to protect women and children from partner violence and control.

For the month of September the JOY Factor will be dedicated to the topic of exploring the reality of intimate partner violence, ways to help survivors heal and what communities can do to prevent this epidemic. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 20 people per minute are physically abused by their partner. That adds up to more than 10 million women and men per year. In the United States 3 women are murdered by their current or former male partners every day. On September 8, 2009, my niece Sena became one of them.

As only those who’ve lost loved ones to violence can understand, the depth of despair is unspeakable and the path to healing is a long hard one. Giving a voice to those who have been lost, as well as those who have survived helps. It is a way to find meaning in something so senseless. Everyone has the right to live a joyful life and I want to do my part to make that possible.

This year marks the 2nd annual Sena Hanson Memorial 5k Walk/Run/Bike which will be held on October 1 in Decorah Iowa. This event is a way to represent hope for other victims and inspire courage in us all to stand up against domestic violence All of the proceeds will be used to benefit the Domestic Abuse Resource Center at Helping Services for NE Iowa. These donations will be used to provide advocacy services as well as needed supplies, gas, food, and other necessities client’s may have.  If you’re in northeast Iowa or nearby please consider taking part in the 5k. If not, will you make a donation in Sena’s honor? No amount is too small.

Every dollar raised will go directly to helping someone escape a dangerous situation. You can find my fundraising page here: Donate to help SURVIVORS  You can also learn more about what Helping Services for NE Iowa is doing by visiting https://www.helpingservices.org

In addition to being a writer, speaker and consultant, Lisette is also a survivor. This is an excerpt from Shameless Survivor.

“On October 4, 2009, while our nine and twelve year old children played in the basement of our home, my husband of twenty one years walked into the bedroom, declared his love for me and shot me in the chest. Running past him I was shot again. As I ran from the house, trying to scream to our children to get out and call 911, he shot me in the back, then turned the gun on himself.  By the grace of God I survived, and my children survived.
I was preparing to leave a marriage of increasing abuse and control. The closer that day came, the more abusive he became. I never imagined his emotional battery could escalate into lethal physical violence. I never imagined he was capable of it, nor did I understand leaving is the most dangerous time as I did not ‘self-identify’ as a domestic violence victim.
Sadly virtually everyone knows someone who is or has been in an abusive relationship; a relative, acquaintance, friend, neighbor or co-worker. If you don’t, you will one day. It is my hope that readers will be inspired to understand the complexity of abuse and support these individuals, mostly women. For those who are currently in it, I hope to encourage you to leave fear, be a survivor too, and reclaim your life that is waiting to be lived.”

Heal Your Broken Spaces

 

Support Helping Services for NE Iowa Domestic Abuse Resource Center to honor my niece Sena’s memory and raise awareness of intimate partner violence

Register for the 2nd Annual Sena Hanson Memorial Walk/Run/Bike 5k on 10/1/16 or make a donation (every dollar counts)

My fundraising page for Helping Services

Thank you for your support!

Today’s guest is licensed therapist, professional speaker and fellow podcaster, Robert Cox. His podcast, Mindful Recovery is an amazing resource for anyone on the journey through recovery from trauma or addictions. Listening to some of his guided meditations on healing have brought tears to my eyes and touched my heart. He is truly passionate about helping people and I know you’ll enjoy our interview today!

Visit Robert’s website for valuable information and to check out his podcast, Mindful Recovery

http://liferecoveryconsulting.com/

More on healing our broken spaces

http://mindfulrecoverypodcast.libsyn.com/

 

For the month of September the JOY Factor will be dedicated to the topic of exploring the reality of intimate partner violence, ways to help survivors heal and what communities can do to prevent this epidemic. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 20 people per minute are physically abused by their partner. That adds up to more than 10 million women and men per year. In the United States 3 women are murdered by their current or former male partners every day. On September 8, 2009, my niece Sena became one of them. Those who knew and loved her would all agree that she would be the first one to help someone who was struggling. Sadly we were not able to help her when she needed it the most.

As only those who’ve lost loved ones to violence can understand, the depth of despair is unspeakable and the path to healing is a long hard one. Giving a voice to those who have been lost, as well as those who have survived helps. It is a way to find meaning in something so senseless. Whether you are currently in an abusive relationship or ready to take a stand on behalf of those needing support thank you. I believe everyone deserves to enjoy their life and the more we draw attention to those who suffer silently the more light we can bring to the darkness.

This year marks the 2nd annual Sena Hanson Memorial 5k Walk/Run/Bike which will be held on October 1 in Decorah Iowa. This event is a way to represent hope for other victims and inspire courage in us all to stand up against domestic violence All of the proceeds will be used to benefit the Domestic Abuse Resource Center at Helping Services for NE Iowa. These donations will be used to provide advocacy services as well as needed supplies, gas, food, and other necessities client’s may have.  If you’re in northeast Iowa or nearby please consider taking part in the 5k. If not, will you make a donation in Sena’s honor? No amount is too small. Every dollar raised will go directly to helping someone escape a dangerous situation. You can find my fundraising page on thejoyfactorpodcast.com or by finding The JOY Factor on Facebook

 

Follow Your Dream

Today’s guest is Kim Dow, founder of Sass Magazine and Kalico Design in Frederick Maryland. Kim shares her perspective on joy and offers a great example to other entrepreneurs. 

Contact Kim

http://www.sassmagazine.com

https://www.facebook.com/sassfrederick

More about Kim

Kimberly Dow is the owner and creative director of Kalico Design, a graphic design studio in the Frederick, MD region that works with associations, publications and companies in the health & wellness, women-oriented, and pet-related industries. She is an award-winning graphic designer who earned a BA, Summa Cum Laude, from Salisbury University in Maryland.

An entrepreneur at heart, Kim also just recently launched Sass Magazine, a women’s lifestyle and professional magazine in the Frederick MD and surrounding regions. Kim serves as the owner, publisher, and creative director for this new venture. Kim also finds creative outlets outside the design studio. A dancer since the age of 4, she is the co-founder and past artistic director of Equinox Dance Company, an all-adult modern dance troupe in western Maryland. Kim is also active in her design community. She has served as the President for the AAF Greater Frederick, her local chapter of the national American Advertising Federation and continues to be involved with the club as a committee member or through volunteer efforts. Recently, Kim was awarded The Patricia Martin Crystal Prism Award, an AAF honor presented by each local chapter to a member who has demonstrated outstanding commitment and leadership to their club. When not at work, Kim can be found hanging out at home with her husband and high school sweetheart, Jimmy, who is a Montgomery County high school math teacher by day and motocross rider by weekend. They share their Frederick home with their rescued animals, two pitbulls and a cat, as well as a pet snake and saltwater fish tank. In her spare time, Kim enjoys reading, traveling, hiking, mountain biking and gardening.

Joyful on Purpose

Today’s guest is Jacqueline Lawson from Joyful on Purpose. In May  of 2012 Jackie’s husband Brian lost his battle with cancer and died 112 days after his diagnosis. From the start Jackie made a conscious decision to find joy in the midst of pain no matter what. Unless you’ve been through the loss of a loved on, it’s hard to know how you would respond. Talking to Jackie was a privilege because she wholeheartedly admits to the intensity of her loss but at the same time she does exactly what the JOY Factor is all about- she rises toward the light even when seemingly surrounded by darkness. She reaches in deep and manages to find her own voice in the process. This is a special episode that will leave you feeling hopeful and inspired.

Such a wonderful story of hope and possibility. Talking to Jackie reminded me how kind and thoughtful people can be. Despite losing the love of her life Jackie made a conscious decision to be joyful on purpose. We can all learn from her example. She made a conscious decision to seek out joy in her day no matter what the circumstances. You can do that too. Be sure to check out thejoyfactorpodcast.com for all the show notes. You can also go there to leave a review! If you have been listening and are enjoying the show it would mean a lot to me if you left me your feedback and if you share the joy with your friends. Thanks for listening and I hope you have a joyful day.

“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.” Thich Nhat Hanh

About Jacqueline

What began as an online journal and a way of coping with the impending death of a husband and father turned into a mission to share joy with others. Jacqueline Lawson lost her husband, Brian, to stage 4 melanoma in 2012. During the 112 days from his diagnosis to his death, she discovered that it is within each of us to face our days actively seeking joy. Joyful on Purpose was born just a month before her husband died, and Jacqueline continues to live a life centered on joy. She is an ordinary mom, sister, daughter, and friend. Joy is her middle name and she is embarking on a journey to live up to that name by “moving through life and finding joy along the way.” Jacqueline shares her personal stories of joyful grief on her blog, Joyful on Purpose. She turned the journals written during Brian’s illness into their story, “112 Days: A Story of Holding On and Letting Go.” Jacqueline is a writer, speaker, do-gooder, and spreader of joy!

Resources

http://www.joyfulonpurpose.com

jacqueline@joyfulonpurpose.com

Other books on grief and loss